I finished my toast which wasn't toasted at all. My name is Bruce Gunwhip.
I'm your regular cop, always itching for some action. Right when i was about to enjoy my toast i heard someone yell my name. It was the Chief.
I kicked the door off the hinges.

"Hey chief!"

"Bruce! Thats the third door this week! And i've only had two doors!"

"Like i care. What ya call me in for?"

The Chief stood up with a folder in his hand and threw it on top of his desk.

"Listen Bruce. Theres an escape convict that killed 40 people with his left but cheek one year ago. He is the most brutal and hardcore criminal ever. All the other officers had their eggs scrambled. They weren't tough enough to kill this guy. What do you say of that?

I stood up and pulled out my gun. Within a second i shot one of the police officers. Chief stood there, in shock.

"I like my eggs....over..easy. I accept the case." I told him.

The Chief laughed. "Thats what i like about you Bruce. Your partner is waiting for you at 123 Avenue street. Get going."

I drove 2miles to the address. I looked out the window and saw a man approach me.

"Hey. Looking for a good time?" He asked.

I got out and stared at him for 20min. I started to slap him with my right hand like i used to do to the pandas at Guadacanale.

"I'm a cop. Are you?" I suddenly stopped and looked inside the folder. There was a picture of him inside. "Are you my partner that Chief sent?"

"Thats me. Now listen, the local bar around here is filled with criminals. We might be able to find the guy we're looking for. You think you can beat 20 criminals?

I nodded, turned around and let out a sigh.

"At the age of 5 i had to kill my best friend with a pencil to get into the Monk clan back in 1978. When i did enter i found out that all the Clan members were dead. They died 50 years ago. Somone tricked me to kill my best friend, i think i can handle 20 criminals. Cause...

I like my eggs over easy."


CHAPTER 2---coming soon.

>___> seriously dude, you should go into film or something. make cheesy comedy sketches.



also ^

Lmao....Duel...I really just don't know what to say. Lol.

What kind of comments are those!? Did you like it or not!!!??

... they're FAR better than 'meh'. =P

they're hardly negative. ^_^

CHAPTER 2.

I went inside the local bar. For some reason thats what bar was called.
I looked around and saw exactly 20 criminals sitting around talking. Except for the bar tender and the New york hooker standing in the corner.

"Listen bud. I'll talk to the Bar tender. Don't fight these guys yet." Jake ordered. He told me his name a couple minutes before. I walked up to the hooker in the corner.

"Hey. Are you a prostitute?" I asked.

"Baby, im what you want me to be." She replied softly.

"Look i'm a cop. I'm a loose cannon that doesn't follow the street lights on the road. Follow me outside." I commanded.

We started making out but it goes deeper than that. But of course i'm not gonna describe it.

Jake was in the Bar arguing with the Bar tender.

"Look man! Just tell me where the hell this guy is." Jake yelled.

"In 1995 i was seduced by a monkey during a stand-up show while thinking of a good satire parody joke of the movie Caddy Shack. You think i'm gonna tell you where this guy is?" He replied. The Bar tender pulled out a pump action shotgun and aimed it at Jake's head. "Listen to me and you won't die. Leave now!"

A convict stood up with a beer at hand and walked toward Jake. It seemed the conversation peeked his interest.

"Whats going on Jim?" The Convict asked.

The Bar Tender pointed to Jake. Suddenly Jake was punched by the Convict. He flew off the bar stool he was sitting on.

"Lets kill this bastard!!" The Convict yelled. All of the other men stood up with knifes, broken bottles, and bats in their hands. The Bar tender put his gun away and watched.

"Bruce! Help man!!!" Jake cried for help.

I rushed in while wiping my face with my hands. All of the Convicts turned and looked at me. I stared back at them and said,

"Looks like theres a spill......and i'm gonna have to wipe it off. Watch out boys cause.....I like my eggs over easy!"

TO BE CONTINUED!!!!!

this is a masterpiece!

I hope you weren't being sarcastic......

so part three is where he gets some strange std and his career is ruined?



that's just it. it's hard to tell.

I'm very VERY speechless about your...stories.That can be either negative or positive.But it is funny...

Anyway, what about part three?I'll be looking forward to it DP!

DP, Your a very good. You should do something with your funny ideas.

Chapter 3.
-----------------
They all rushed at me with weapons at hand. I punched one of them and through him out of a window near by. The Convict that started the whole fight rushed at me with a knife ready. I cracked his neck and twisted his backwards. He fell to his death. Everyone stopped and there was silence for a few seconds. The Hooker came back inside.

"That was great. How about a second time?" She said, begging for more.

"I have a better idea". I told her. I grabbed her by the head and through her toward the group of Convicts, they all fell. The Bar tender started to shake nervously. I walked up to him and pointed my gun at his forehead.

"Where...is...this..guy?" I asked while showing him a picture of the Convict.

"He...is.downtown at the eastern district."

I walked out but before i left, i shot the gun without looking. I shot the Bar tender in the forehead.

"Jake, Get up."

We got in the car, Jake's face was shivering after that experience.

"Where did you learn to fight like that man!!" Jake asked at an exited tone.

"I joined a Martial Arts club in 1995 to hone my skills for a confrontation against 5 other people. My skills were so good that i accidentally killed them." I replied.

We finally got to the Eastern District. It was full of drug dealers, gangsters and homosexuals.

"Wait here, Theres clean up i need to do." I said to Jake.

A few minutes later Jake came by and saw a whole pile of beaten people on the sidewalk.

"What da hail!!?? Bruce wat did you do man!?" Jake said, confused.

"Nothing, i was just doing some clean up on this street." I replied.

We walked into an abandoned Library.

"Bruce what are we doin here?"

"The Convict is here." Jake seemed rather confused.
"I..smell his blood here. His hate and soul."

In front of us was the Convict that appeared in the picture.

Chapter 4
----------------------

After a long fight i accidentlly killed the convict.

"opps." I said.

"You killed him!" Jake yelled.

"Who cares we're going to Mexico." I replied.

We left to Mexico where we could hide. But the real reason we went there was to get revenge.

"Bruce, you're gonna kill someone? Who?"

I sighed once again. "When i was 10, i visited this same place. Then a Clown seduced me and had his way."

Jake was speechless. "Wheres the Clown?" He asked.

I pointed to the Clown across the street. "There. I'm gonna kill him. Cause i like my...."

"Eggs over easy! I've heard it before!!!" Jake interrupted.

TO BE CONTINUED.

NOTE: Short chapter. more soon. end of story.

Quoted for emphasys.